A candle in the dark
by wolflets
Summary: sam wonders if enough is enough and decides to end it all, but is some other force controlling her?warning: contains kinda gruesome content, those with weak stomachs beware!
1. is it all as it seems?

Chapter one.

It was dark. Samantha Carter sat in her living room all alone. Remembering their latest mission.

"_Sir, wait!"_

"_Carter, there's no time!"_

_Sam turned around to see several small children following them, quite a distance away, meaning they were only small specks. The smallest girl stumbled. Daniel slowed to grab Sam, she struggled and by accident he grabbed onto her broken arm, she yelled at the pain and tried to stop to let the girl and two young boys, no older than seven, catch up. Teal'c also stopped to grab her and together the two men pulled her forwards. The Jaffa chasing them aimed. She screamed as they fired at the children. They fell to the floor, dead._

She grabbed the nearest sharp implement she could see, tears were blurring her vision but she didn't care. She held the knife in her hands, marveling at how sharp the blade was. Sam turned it over a few times, almost as though she was caressing it.

"Its all my fault" she murmured, remembering only too clearly their eyes pleading with her for help before there was no longer help left to give.

Sam thought of all the other people she had let die. All her fault.

She gripped the handle hard and drove the knife into the pale skin on her wrist, the red liquid ran out, glistening slightly, she figured that the pain was nothing compared to the guilt bottled up inside her. Sam slid down the wall of her kitchen, black spots appearing in the edges of her vision, blood cascading out too fast, Blackness that had been threatening to consume her finally granted her wish.

The last thing she heard was a slight noise at the door.


	2. the long and lonely night

A Candle in the Dark

Chapter two.

Disclaimer (whoops, I knew I forgot something…) okay, this refers to all chapters of this story btw (obviously) errmm.. I don't own them. Simple.

Sam didn't hear anything after the slight noise at the door, but the 'slight noise' became an insistent knocking complete with grumbling.

Outside the door Daniel, Jack and Teal'c stood. Teal'c was dressed in his latest fashion idea: a cowboy hat, complete with accessories. The other two by comparison looked quite normal; Daniel wearing slacks and a black top and Jack wearing a grey jersey and jeans.

"Maybe she's not here?" questioned Daniel.

"Well, she's not in her lab and she's not on base. AND, her cars here. Kinda a bit of a giveaway. Anyway, where else is there with a laptop?" replied Jack as though this much were obvious. "Anyway, I ordered her to go home and rest her arm and watch TV."

"And when has she ever listened to you Jack?"

Jack blinked at this and Daniel released a satisfied smirk.

"Maybe Major Carter does no wish to be interrupted." Stated Teal'c

"Daytime TV is not that fascinating" whined Jack "And anyway, I bought Pizza" he said gesturing to the large box of pizza firmly grasped in his hand.

He rapped at the door again and called her name. no response.

"Maybe she's asleep" it was a poor suggestion but Daniel couldn't honestly think of anything else.

"Was it just me or as she been acting a bit strange recently?" queried Jack

"Indeed, Major Carter has been acting in an unusual way"

"Okay, well I hope she's decent" smirked Jack as he reached into his wallet to retrieve a small key. He stuffed it roughly into the door whilst Teal'c raised his eyebrow. It clicked and the door swung open.

The three men stepped in through the door and Jack called sharply.

"Carter for crying out loud, we know you're here, your car's in the drive." Called Jack. On receiving no response, Jack started to worry. He looked around for signs of a struggle, but her lounge was immaculate.

They all decided to check upstairs first, effectively driving anyone that may be in the house, out. After knocking gently on her bedroom door, Daniel covered his eyes and stepped in the room. When he heard no noise, he peeked slightly. Nothing. Removing his hand from his eyes he looked once more. Puzzled he walked out the door.

Meanwhile Teal'c and Jack had checked all the other rooms upstairs, neither of them had seen Sam anywhere.

They filed down the stairs, one by one. Jack at the front, Teal'c keeping an eye out for any trouble at the back, and the civilian: Daniel, squished in between the two. It occurred to Jack that their pantomimic creeping probably looked quite amusing to anyone who happened to be watching.

They made it to the bottom of the stairs and each spread out to a different room to check for Sam.

Teal'c took the dining room and Daniel took the study. Jack meanwhile was getting rather sick of cavorting around his 2ICs house with one hand precariously balancing a box of pizza and his other hand floating close to his concealed gun, so he decided to dump the pizza in the kitchen and continue the search for Sam. Jogging into the kitchen he put the box on the tabletop, but as he did so he slipped on something. Grabbing onto the worksurface, he slipped to the floor, knees protesting and cursed. Looking down to scowl heavily at what had made him slip Jack saw a red liquid oozing over the stone floor.

What he saw next made his blood run cold. Samantha Carter, the person who would never give in, always had time to explain even the simplest parts of her technobabble, and reserved a smile just for him was lying slumped in her own blood, skin a milky white colour, lips tinged blue, motionless. His heart stood still and he froze to the spot, unable to even blink. Suddenly instinct took over. "DANIEL, CALL JANET. GET A MEDICAL TEAM OVER HERE." On receiving no response Jack yelled again. "NOW!"

"Sam, come on wake up" Jack shook her shoulders lightly. Deep down he didn't expect to receive any response.

Daniel came running in, wondering what Jack was yelling about. His stomach plunged as he saw the woman who was as close as a sister to him lying too still, surrounded in her blood. He saw Jack's horror stricken face and was sure it matched his own.

"Get something to stop the blood" said Jack, his voice trembling.

Daniel opened the nearest drawer to him and found thankfully that it was full of tea towels. He hurriedly grabbed a couple and together they pressed them to her wrist.

Moving her gently down so she was flat on the floor Daniel watched her chest like a hawk. There was no movement.

"Jack, she's not breathing"

_A/N: A big thank you to Mandy SG1 and to SG- fan for reviewing. I find it interesting that 128 people read the last chapter and two reviewed…is it that bad?_

_Okay, tell you what, here's the deal…im gonna leave this as a cliff-hanger until you press the little purple button in the left had corner of the screen and submit a review, even if its two words! I'm desperate sniff _

_p.s. Oh, and no, I'm not against killing anyone off. rubs hands together whilst grinning evilly_


	3. don't want to end it this way

A Candle In The Dark

Chapter 3.

Yey! Thank you to everyone for reading, and special thanks to: MandySg1, SG-fan, Sammie 77, file109 (see this ones longer!) , Abbie Carmichael, gater62, Sheila, devianttart, em, and helle xandria encaitarince for all taking the time to review. Anyone else out there lurking and reading… please REVIEW! I wont bite (much): )

Finally gotten round to correcting some glaring mistakes in this chapter (sorry guys!)

Anyway, I said I'd write this (I think) so on with the show : )

Previously

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

"_Jack , she's not breathing!"_

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Daniel looked at Jack and saw something he had never seen before; Jack looked utterly lost and terrified at the brink of despair.

"Err, ive never actually performed CPR before on anyone Jack. JACK can you hear me?"

Although his teammates had never been in the situation to need to be performed CPR to, or at least not by Daniel's hand (and mouth), which he did think was quite incredible, Daniel realised he would have to take control of the situation. Whilst he was making this decision, Teal'c ran in after hearing the commotion in the other room

Swallowing down his fears, he yelled at Teal'c

'Teal'c, can you go get my phone, its in the car. Press 3 on speed dial"

Teal'c had paled considerably at seeing the state of his teammate and trusted friend, but wordlessly followed Daniel's command.

"Okay, Jack we need to do CPR." Jack looked up at Daniel and Daniel could see the visible battle going on in Jacks mind trying to hold everything together.

"JACK. WE NEED TO DO THIS AND YOU NEED TO HELP OR SHE'S GONNA DIE."

Suddenly it was as if Jack disappeared completely, mind now controlled by the hard ass colonel.

"Sorry." He almost whispered, looking morose.

Teal'c came back in the room and quickly handed Daniel the phone.

"Janet, we need a medical team here. Its Sam, she's not breathing."

Jack could just about make out the muffled noises as Janet on the other side of the phone.

Daniel leaned in closer to the phone to hear Janet's slightly higher than usual voice reply quickly

"Okay Daniel, you will need to follow these instructions VERY quickly. Is anyone else there with you?

"Jack and Teal'c"

"Okay, where are you?"

"Sam's house"

"Get Teal'c to stand outside and wait for us to arrive."

Daniel quickly relayed this information to Teal'c then listened closely to the phone. Janet was telling him how to perform CPR. He started to relay this information back to Jack.

"Has she got a pulse?"

Jack's shaking fingers rested on the side of her neck waiting.

Finally he found to his heart's relief that a slight fluttering could be felt, but he was still worried about how cold and clammy her skin felt to the touch. He nodded back to Daniel who looked visibly relieved.

"Okay, Jack first she says to tilt Sam's head back a bit. So put your left hand on her forehead and press backward firmly."

Jack didn't even hesitate in following Daniel's instructions.

"Okay, now youre gonna have to put two fingers of your right hand under her chin and lift it forward."

Jack obeyed every word without question, knowing that every second he wasted was the chance of Sam surviving slimming drastically. He avoided looking directly at her ivory coloured skin, instead concentrating fully on the task in hand. He knew that somewhere in the depths of his memory he SHOULD know how to perform CPR, having performed it several times before,he even knew that he DID know how, but the sight of the woman he…he didn't dare think of her as anything more than a teammate, lying there put his mind into shock and the dark swirling mist in his mind effectively covered CPR from view.

The time this was taking to accomplish was only mere seconds but to the men in the room it seemed to drag on into eternity.

Daniel was nodding his head slightly whilst absorbing the information Janet was giving him. Jack wondered if he even realised he was doing it.

Jack checked her airway, remembering that much at least, then Daniel piped up.

"Pinch her nose and take a deep breath…"

The mist swirling around the memories of what to do suddenly lifted and he finally had crystal clarity of what he should be doing. Jack took a deep breath, making sure to pinch her nose whilst keeping her chin raised and breathed for his Major. Memories assaulted his mind; her laughing over one of his terrible jokes, her puzzling over a small replicator block, countless times of explanations of the simplest things, her smile reserved just for him, kicking the crap out of a gouald…He breathed for her again. Memories of Sam wearing an alluring blue dress from her encounter with the shavadai, sitting in his lounge with Daniel and Teal'c watching star wars…Daniel's voice broke through his thoughts.

"Yeah Jack, that's great, now do that every six seconds."

Daniel removed the tea towel from Sam's wrist and saw that blood was still seeping through at an alarming rate. After Jack had taken another breath for Sam he looked over and saw Daniel faltering over her wrist. His military training kicking in, he realised there was no other choice.

"Daniel, come here and breathe for her, I think that may need a tourniquet." Daniel hurriedly swapped places with Jack. Jack quickly grabbed one of the clean teatowels and ripped it diagonally, he then looked around quickly for some type of stick to tighten the bandage with. Not seeing anything that would do in the kitchen he hurried into the lounge. There on the sofa was a brand new dress, still sporting the wooden coathanger. His eyes lit up at this, removing the coathanger he broke it across his knee. He almost ran back to the kitchen and kneeled down to Sam. After fixing the tourniquet he relaxed slightly, looking back to Daniel who was still breathing for Sam.

A slight noise in the background became a blaring and Jack realised Janet had arrived. Relieved didn't cover it. Jack had felt so helpless for not even being able to phone for an ambulance, knowing there would be too many security breaches due to unexplainable protein markers in her blood.

Teal'c ran in with a grace only he could manage, Janet and several medical staff following with bags of medical equipment and a gurney. They were shuffled out of the way to allow the medical team to work, but not before chocolate brown eyes filled with anguish met gentle, sympathetic hazel brown eyes. Janet took into account his dilated pupils and pale complexion.

Jack's world started to spin and he sat down on the floor with a bump and started to stare ahead blankly, the twinge of resistance his knees gave didn't even register

Looking over at Jack, Janet spoke quietly to one of the nurses next to her and then continued working on Sam. The nurse she had just spoken to came over and took a long hard look at the colonel, before hurrying back to Janet and speaking in a hushed tone.

"Doctor Fraiser, I think you're right; he's in shock"

"Okay, I think there's some blankets over there" she said gesticulating to near her medical bag.

The nurse returned with three blankets; one for each of them.

After a while, Janet and the others had stabilized Sam and lifted her onto the gurney ready for transport to Cheyenne Mountain. Janet spoke just loud enough for them to hear

"I want you three to come as well, so I can keep an eye on you."

TBC.


	4. misconceptions

A Candle in the Dark chapter 4

Wow! I've never had that many reviews before! Thanks to everyone who read, and most of all to: **Mandy SG1** (my first reviewer : ) ) , **SGfan** (for continued support), **lynne**(im afraid I have a small habit of making cliffhangers…),** IloveSG1, Em** (for moaning about slacks!), **Sam and Jack forever**(no, I'm honestly not on crack),** taqukaq **(thanks!)**, SGCfan4ever,PhantomPhulter, stargatefan777, ecd-shermal**( what are WIPs?- im so naive.)**, Psfluter, CL235**( for being honest. Sorry my characters are unrealistic!),** Mickey Ryan**(for being a firm believer in Sam angst hehehehe) and **Claire svu fan**(for being really sweet) for all taking the time to review :)

A/N: there seem to a lot of you who are sceptical Sam would have tried such a thing, but don't forget my original summary; particularly the "Is some other force controlling her?" bit, so bear that in mind in the irrationalness (is that even a word?) of her decision… 

(This chapter is more kinda short, I wrote this in a bad mood and I apologise for nothing. so beware)

* * *

They were all sitting in the surprisingly spacious vehicle, except for the medical team, who were still tending to Sam.

Jack was absorbed in thought, but Teal'c saw to interrupt him.

"O'Neill, are you okay?"

Jack looked up and snapped

"Oh yeah, super. My 2IC is lying there and its my fault."

Daniel looked up surprised and was about to say something, but O'Neill got there first.

"Sorry Teal'c." Jack sighed as he rubbed his temples. Daniel was still wondering how the other man was possibly to blame.

"Err, Jack, how is this your fault?"

"I froze. I know what to do in that type of situation and I didn't do it."

Janet who had been half listening to this conversation chose this moment to interrupt.

"Colonel, you're in shock. And I'm assuming its you that applied the tourniquet"

Jack looked up and nodded vaguely

"Well, that probably saved the Major's life. As it is, the amount of blood she has lost has me quite worried, if you hadn't have acted as you did, she would have bled to death."

"Doc, I know how to do CPR and I just stood there." Jack almost whispered, baring his soul for her to see.

Daniel chose this moment to butt in again.

"Jack, so do I, but that didn't stop me from going blank and forgetting"

"Colonel, being in a battle situation is completely different to facing such things in a supposed safe environment." sighed Janet "For starters; in a combat situation adrenaline is coursing through your system, helping you make split second decisions. Going into shock slows all those reactions down."

After a slight pause she continued.

"Its NOT you fault" she enunciated each word carefully, praying that it would sink into the stubborn man's mind.

Feeling nothing else she could say would make much of a difference, she turned back around to tend to her patient.

* * *

Eventually after a journey that seemed to last forever, the ambulance arrived at the mountain, and Sam was wheeled out on the gurney into the lift, heading for the infirmary. Somehow, the gurney with Sam, Jack, Teal'c, Daniel, Janet and two unnamed medical staff all managed to squeeze into the lift together and waited for the journey down to level 27; the infirmary.

Once there, Janet, Sam and the medical staff all hurried over to the operating theater to perfect the makeshift stitches performed in the ambulance and put a cast on Sam's wrist. Daniel tried to follow but was soon stopped by one of the nursing staff, leading them to beds in the infirmary to allow them to wait for Sam and so that the nurse could check them over.

* * *

Eventually stitching and so forth was over and done with and SG1 were all in the infirmary. Doctor Fraiser came back over to check on them all looking very tired and slightly sad. She then proceeded to take out (in SG1s opinion) her most prized possession- her penlight, and opened Sam's left eye to look at her reactions.

"What the hell?" murmured Fraiser looking puzzled.

"Doctor Fraiser is something wrong?" questioned Teal'c

"Err, yeah" said Janet, quite distracted.

The male members of SG1 looked up puzzled and saw what had Janet so perplexed. Glancing at Sam's eyes, expecting to see glittering blue eyes, they were shocked to see total blackness: the pupil, the iris, cornea, everything.

Suddenly with startling speed Sam sat up, eyes inhuman and spoke with a strange disembodied voice

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY BODY NOW!"

…TBC…


	5. memories

Sorry I haven't updated before but my server was playing up…so I procrastinated with other stuff and then I went on holiday…but its up as fast as I can manage it and its longer than usual : )

Thanks to: PhantomPhulter (aww, thanks for the lovely review!), Mickey Ryan, Abbie Carmichael(don't sweat it, thanks for reading!), Claire svu fan, spacemonkeylover (like the penname, lol) MandySG1 (thanks for your advice, it put some things into perspective :) ), devianttart : ), CL235 ,SamandJackForever : ), SG-fan, Em(you were moaning about my Americanisms- lol) and iwannabsam(cheers hun ), file109 (ta 4 having an open mind) and flatkatsi (I just meant by comparing yourself to others… lol, thanks and let me know what she thinks : P)

I value everything you guys say more than you know, so thank you to everyone who has taken the time to review.

I write for pleasure, as somebody reminded me (thank you!) it is only fiction, so if my writing style differs from your personal opinion of the characters, please understand, its only my perspective on the show. If you like it then 'fer crying out loud review, if you think something is medically incorrect please speak up, but if your only intent is to criticize or be sarcastic, just don't bother cuz I cant be arsed to write and then be insulted so in future, I'll block you.

A/N(yes, even more- sorry!)

Her eyes are black because the entity inside her is kinda pissed off its body stealing didn't completely work)

note, italics represent flashback.

Jack stepped forward indignantly

"Excuse Me?"

He spoke clearly but dangerously quietly, which showed the rest of his team all the warning signs of an extremely pissed off colonel. Sam's eyes widened slightly, almost as though in recognition of his anger,the mist of blackness in her eyes lightened to the colour of Sams normal eye colour but it was only for a flicker of a second. Just as quickly as the shock had appeared, the uncertainty was replaced by a cold and detached feeling as though someone had walked over their graves and her eyes clouded back to midnight black. The feeling of despair and hopelessness filtered to their bodies and chilled them to the bone.

"This is MINE. I found it. I like it and I chose it. There is nothing more you can do about it." The entity spoke with a finality that was disturbing.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow as Jack whipped out his zat and raised it to point straight over Sam's heart whilst whispering

"Oh I think there is something I can do about it."

Daniel involuntarily shuddered at Jack's clinically cold manner and spoke up, hoping to stop O'Neill from doing something that would result in the rest of his life being eaten up with regret and guilt.

"Jack" Daniel spoke quietly and Jack found it ironic that as many languages as the archaeologist knew, he could still manage to communicate an entire conversation with that one word.

Jack winced slightly and hesitated a bit. Before he had a chance to change his mind, the entity lunged at Jack as though to strangle him, through instinct his hand tightened on the trigger and Sam fell forward limply almost as though someone had cut the strings on a puppet, her head impacting the floor with a hard thump. Blood pooled around her head and Janet winced.

"crap."

"Doc, she is gonna be ok…right?"

Janet looked up slightly at the colonel and sighed heavily, but remained silent. She didn't trust herself to speak at first, but seeing Jack's wide eyes she swallowed down her feelings and almost whispered

"I...I don't honestly know colonel. I don't even know what the entity is or its intentions, let alone trying to get it out of her…" her voice cracked and she abruptly stopped and she turned around quickly, harshly brushing the tear that had streaked its way down her face away with her sleeve.

"I meant her head."

"oh."

Sam awoke to find her hands covered in a strange material and strapped firmly down by her sides.Her head felt like someone had stuck hundreds of pins in it. She adjusted her head slightly to get a better look at her surroundings and the room started spinning. Looking down she saw that her wrists were wrapped in bandages and she was pinned down to the bed by restraints. Shame rose from the depths of her memory as she remembered slitting her wrists. But shame wasn't the only thing to rise from her memory. There was something else. Something stirring and awakening. A Voice. Distant at first but getting louder in a sing song manner.

"I will kill them all. Dead dead dead. They'll all be dead. Just like me. Just like how you let me die."

Sam struggled at the restraints in an attempt to stop the voice. It was coming from inside her head.

The voice was high pitched as though that of a child and she knew she recognized it from somewhere.

"Remember how you left us?"

"No I don't. Who are you?" replied Sam, fear seeping through her very essence at the anger portrayed in the voice.

"The Jaffa came. They wanted the in…the in…infamous SG1. the voice stressed out the word as though trying to pronounce it. The voice went quiet temporarily as though in remembrance, but then continued suddenly

"that's what they yelled for. They caught my village. Killed my mom. As they shouted for you to come. They killed my mommy and you didn't stop them.

I was screaming and The largest came towards me and hit me again and again and laughed. Said I'd die and you wouldn't help. Do you remember now?"

_Sam's memory swirled and she remembered._

_Jack, Sam, Teal'c and Daniel were hiding high up on a hill in the trees, watching the village. Six dead Jaffa were lying sprawled around their position, and to save time they didn't have, Daniel used his zat and pointed it at each of the bodies in turn, firing to disintegrate the remains. Sam crouched down and readjusted her binoculars as she looked towards the village again. Fire and destruction showed all the classic signs of a Jaffa attack, dead bodies rife around the village. The center of the village known as Bliterae was visible from their position and Sam could just about make out Aderyn, a young woman around 25 Sam had befriended earlier with dark black flowing hair, a sweet smile and a young son called Tom. She was being held down by Jaffa. The tallest Jaffa called out._

"_SG1, my master Baal knows you are here. I demand you come out at once she will not be harmed. This is your last chance."_

_Daniel looked quizzically at Jack waiting for his response. He shook his head marginally and winced. Daniel's eyes widened and he looked round at Teal'c. He answered in a low voice._

"_Indeed, O'Neill is wise not to reveal our position. Our deaths would be assured."_

_Daniel looked down dismayed as did Carter._

_The fire of a staff weapon told them everything they needed to know; Aderyn was dead._

_Screaming penetrated their pensive silence and Sam looked up again with her binoculars. Tom had thrown himself on the floor and was rocking his mother's dead body. The Jaffa laughed until his screaming became annoying and they grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and threw him to one side. He retaliated and bit the tallest ones leg at which the now murderous Jaffa punched him hard in the face. He skidded backwards, dazed and the Jaffa started to lay into him; punches and kicks rained down on the small boy until Sam could take it no longer. She jumped upwards aiming her P-90 and firing at the Jaffa. He fell to the floor, motionless._

_Sam put protocol to the back of her mind, she wasn't about to let a small boy get beaten to death. Concentrating on steadying herself, she grabbed onto grass as she slipped down the steep slope, ignoring the colonel and Teal'c and Daniel racing after her. In the rush they didn't see the lone Jaffa also hiding in the woods. He threw a large rock at Sam. The rock met its target, hitting her on the back of the head. The sharp blow to the back of her head made her stumble as her vision narrowed. She never even saw Jack take out that Jaffa with a fierce spray of bullets. _

_Sam rolled down the hill, her arm catching underneath her as she fell. A loud crack was heard as bones broke. Daniel winced as he ran towards Sam. She lay in a heap at the bottom of the hill and he slid down the rest of the hill to get to her quickly. The blonde head looked up and inwardly the other three members of SG1 breathed a sigh of relief. Sam got up to unsteady legs but Daniel was immediately by her side, supporting her._

_She strained her eyes to see Tom, eventually her eyes found the small child, other children had gathered near, a young girl and two boys she recognized as friends of Tom. _

_Tom struggled to get up and Sam's heart ran cold as she saw in slow motion the Jaffa she had shot and presumed dead raised his head to show a malicious grin, and raising his right arm, gripped his staff and fired. Tom's eyes looked down unbelieving at the gaping hole where his stomach had once been. He fell forward to the floor and her heart ran cold. She hadn't been quick enough. He had died and it was her fault. The children gathered near screamed and scattered._

_Teal'c hauled her up the hill, aware that the remaining Jaffa were in hot pursuit of them. Sam was numb with guilt and wanted nothing more than to stop and break down, but the façade of soldier Sam slipped into place and her friends dragged her insistently on. In her pocket she reached to grip the small gray broken stone Tom had given her. He called it a soul stone and had showed her the other half in his hand. Sam chocked back a sob in the back of her throat._

_They were running for so long, that was all she remembered. Eventually she risked a glance over her shoulder. The Jaffa were still there as was something else._

"_Sir, wait!"_

"_Carter, there's no time!"_

_Sam turned around to see several small children following them, quite a distance away, meaning they were only small specks. The smallest girl stumbled. Daniel slowed to grab Sam, she struggled and by accident he grabbed onto her broken arm, she yelled at the pain and tried to stop to let the girl and two young boys, no older than seven, catch up. Teal'c also stopped to grab her and together the two men pulled her forwards. The Jaffa chasing them aimed. She screamed as they fired at the children. They fell to the floor, dead._

_The memory swirled and vanished._

"See what you did? You killed us all" the voice screamed.

Sam surrendered to the oblivion that was overtaking her.


	6. falling without a net to catch me

CHAPTER 6

Thanks to Mandy SG1, devianttart, SG-fan, Mickey Ryan, Lauren, intergalactic smart-ass, emelee, Sammie 77, Claire svu fan, gatermage, foaming ferret and phoenix starr for those lovely reviews : ) its nice to know someone is actually reading this!

I'd love to know how everyone comes up with their pen names…

Quick note: I write for pleasure, as somebody reminded me (thank you!) it is only fiction, so if my writing style differs from your personal opinion of the characters, please understand, its only my perspective on the show. If you like it then 'fer crying out loud review, if you think something is medically incorrect please speak up, but if your only intent is to criticize or be sarcastic, just don't bother cuz I cant be arsed to write and then be insulted so in future, I'll block you.

Ps, memories/flashbacks are in italics.

Previously,

_The memory swirled and vanished._

"See what you did? You killed us all" the voice screamed.

Sam surrendered to the oblivion that was overtaking her.

STÅRGATE STÅRGATE STÅRGATE STÅRGATE STÅRGATE STÅRGATE

"So," muttered the voice, "who are we going to kill first?"

"STOP IT! I WON'T LET YOU!" yelled Sam.

Janet turned around and looked sadly at Sam. Her eyes were wild and she was screaming unintelligible things to herself.

Teal'c was sitting nearby in the corner, SG1 was taking turns to watch her and wait.

"Sarah," called Janet, "2mg of Lorazepam please."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow and his skin rippled slightly as his muscles tensed. Janet quickly clarified

"Its just to calm her down. She's doing no good to anyone like this."

Teal'c lowered his eyebrow and bowed his head in acceptance.

After a quick nod from Janet the nurse, known as Sarah, quickly injected the drug into Carter's IV. Soon she began to calm and quieten down.

Sam's features softened and she sighed lightly.

STÅRGATE STÅRGATE STÅRGATE STÅRGATE STÅRGATE STÅRGATE

Jack O'Neill sat with his head in his hands. The locker room. An ideal place as SG1 had their very own, and seeing as Daniel was researching on his computer anything that might help and he probably wouldn't stop until he found something. Teal'c was watching Carter and he would undoubtedly stay there until another member of SG1 came to watch her. And Sam herself was in the infirmary tied down, so she certainly wasn't going to barge in anytime soon, he was safe to think things over by himself.

"_Maybe she's asleep" it was a poor suggestion but Daniel couldn't honestly think of anything else._

"_Was it just me or as she been acting a bit strange recently?" queried Jack_

"_Indeed, Major Carter has been acting in an unusual way"_

He had suspected something then, but why hadn't he done anything before?

Jack thought back to when they had first walked through the stargate.

_Teal'c had come through first, never being one for long goodbyes unlike Jack who seemed to drag out going through the stargate for as long as possible. Then came Daniel, unusually, who had hopped through the 'gate, then Sam, closely followed by O'Neill._

_O'Neill scanned the area quickly, looking for any possible threat, but everything seemed normal enough._

"_So campers, you know the drill. We're looking for a civilization", pausing he grinned "most preferably one with advanced technology"_

_Daniel looked upwards sighing and Jack was sure he could just hear the words "Give me strength."_

Okay, so that was pretty ordinary he thought. Must have been since then, then. He thought forwards in the mission. When they had first made contact with someone. A small cheeky smiling someone.

"_His name's Tom, sir" smiled Carter to O'Neill. He was instantly reminded of words he had uttered before. – No, you can't keep him! Jack half smiled to the boy, and noticing he was getting stared at, uncomfortably muttered "Hey" in his general direction. The boy grinned back and beckoned them to follow, then ran off._

_Sam shrugged and jogged after him._

'Hmm, still seemed like Carter then.' He thought.

He couldn't quite put his finger on it. The only time he left her on her own was when she was with that boy so it must have happened then.But what did he do?

STÅRGATE STÅRGATE STÅRGATE STÅRGATE STÅRGATE STÅRGATE

"Lets see…" whispered the voice… "I know how we're going to get outta here." Sam squirmed slightly in bed, the monitors at the side of her bed started beating erratically and Janet hurried over concerned.

Without any warning, Sam started fitting in her restraints, her back rising off the mattress she was on, her face showing her absolute fear and then her eyes opened wide with terror. Then her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she stopped fitting, and instead lay there motionless.

Teal'c stood up, concern radiating off the stoic Jaffa and turned to doctor Fraiser.

Suddenly the heart rate monitor whined as the red moving ball stopped bouncing up and down and rolled across the monitor.

"SHIT." she swore and ran a hand haphazardly through her hair, reaching out to hit a button on the infirmary wall. An alarm sounded, followed by the sound of people running. Teal'c stepped back to let them work, but the mask slipped slightly and fear was evident in his eyes. Janet moved in front of him, whilst working on Carter and effectively blocked his line of view.

"SHE'S CRASHING!" yelled Janet hurrying to disentangle Sam from the restraints. Another doctor and two nurses appeared and Janet produced a watery smile.

After a quick check of Sam's breathing, Janet spoke again.

"I need an intubation tray, stat!"

The tray quickly appeared and the team worked on Sam.

"OKAY, SHOCK HER"

A small whine of machinery charging then a thump onto the mattress told Teal'c what they were trying to do.

_The sound of footsteps drew gradually closer and Teal'c recognized the familiar footfalls of Jack and the slightly more shuffling ones of Daniel. They ran over to Teal'c and looked puzzled. Teal'c wondered if they had been called or if the alarm Janet had sounded had attracted them. He decided on the latter._

"Again"

Janets voice brought him back to the situation at hand.

A whine, a thump, but no reassuring beat of the monitor.

"Again."

A whine of the machine, a thump then,

Nothing.


End file.
